This week a construction crew started to work on the basement in our facility. They are renovating it so that we can have our Day Shelter for homeless women there, in addtion to some other expanded programming.
Yesterday, they brought in some equipment to cut a huge pathway of concrete out to accomodate for plumbing. They quickly ran into a problem. One of the men told our staff, "It's true they don't make 'em like they used to. The floor of this house is much thicker than it is in newer buildings." Apparently, the equipment couldn't cut through it and they had to modify it before they could make any progress.
It made me smile, as God reminded me of our real "foundation," back when Safe Harbor was just a dream for me. The co-founder and I spent over eighteen months, 2 hours each Sunday, just praying for the birthing of this ministry. That's it. Praying a lot, and then planning just a little - as we had God's direction.
Five years later, a big part of that dream has come true with our residential facility and now a larger, better place for the Day Shelter. We are definitely experiencing growing pains - like a colt whose long, spindly legs are not quite adequate to support her inbred passion to run like the wind. Our support is growing quickly, but not quite at the pace of our needs. It has been scarey at times (even though I know I don't sound "spiritual" to admit that). But yesterday's "foundation" experience has given me new strength and a renewed vision from a renewed assurance that what God has begun, He will surely finish.
If that wasn't enough, in my inbox today was a quote from Andrew Murray: "Faith expects from God what is beyond all expectation."
Friday, September 25, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
What is Recovery?
Ever had a surgical procedure? I've had several, all of which required full sedation. The part I've always dreaded since my first experience is the recovery room. It's cold, you're disoriented - not awake but not asleep. You are somehow aware that something is different about you than before you arrived in this room: something has been removed or repaired. And people keep asking you questions in louder than normal volume. "Mrs. Haynes, how are you feeling?" "Mrs. Haynes, are you in any pain?" Mostly you just want to get another one of those warm blankets and go back to sleeping peacefully.
Today, it occurred to me that life recovery has some similarities. For clarification, when I say "life recovery" I believe every human being is in recovery from life in a fallen world. Some people are recovering from life with parents who were cruel and abusive. Some are recovering from life with parents who were neither of those, but were all the same, imperfect parents. Some are recovering from sadness and suffering due to no one person's fault - the early death of a parent or sibling, for example. Some are recovering from sinful choices. Maybe those choices were a response to any of the previously mentioned life experiences; but perhaps those choices were just a product of a sinful will. And so really, we are all in life recovery. Not just drug addicts and alcoholics.
To be in "recovery" means that we have become aware that something is amiss in our lives and we are beginning to do something about it. This first stage is like making an appointment to go talk to a doctor about this ailment. That phase alone can require a lot of courage. But if you finally make it to the surgeon's table - you really mean business. You're committed. The surgery may be a huge success - the problem is identified and removed or repaired. This is the awareness and repair phase of life recovery. You spend a lot of time digging into terribly painful experiences and even disecting consequences to gain more clarity and understanding. If a surgical patient jumped off the surgeon's table onto the floor to go out and start back a normal life, all that was gained from the procedure may be lost and the patient may actually be worse off than before. So it is with life recovery.
The courageous women of Safe Harbor get one year for "surgery and the recovery room." It is a very painful and messy process. Dr. Sandra Wilson, author of "Released from Shame," one of the books we teach in our program, encourages us that "Depending on the severity of your personal brokenness and the extent of your cooperation with the work of his [God's] Spirit in your life, you will be able to 'soar on wings like eagles,....run and not grow weary...[or at least] walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:31).
She says that if we wait out the process, spending the time in the recovery room as needed, making full use of the healing professionals available to us "there will be fewer 'fainting' days and more 'running' and 'soaring' days than there used to be."
Today, it occurred to me that life recovery has some similarities. For clarification, when I say "life recovery" I believe every human being is in recovery from life in a fallen world. Some people are recovering from life with parents who were cruel and abusive. Some are recovering from life with parents who were neither of those, but were all the same, imperfect parents. Some are recovering from sadness and suffering due to no one person's fault - the early death of a parent or sibling, for example. Some are recovering from sinful choices. Maybe those choices were a response to any of the previously mentioned life experiences; but perhaps those choices were just a product of a sinful will. And so really, we are all in life recovery. Not just drug addicts and alcoholics.
To be in "recovery" means that we have become aware that something is amiss in our lives and we are beginning to do something about it. This first stage is like making an appointment to go talk to a doctor about this ailment. That phase alone can require a lot of courage. But if you finally make it to the surgeon's table - you really mean business. You're committed. The surgery may be a huge success - the problem is identified and removed or repaired. This is the awareness and repair phase of life recovery. You spend a lot of time digging into terribly painful experiences and even disecting consequences to gain more clarity and understanding. If a surgical patient jumped off the surgeon's table onto the floor to go out and start back a normal life, all that was gained from the procedure may be lost and the patient may actually be worse off than before. So it is with life recovery.
The courageous women of Safe Harbor get one year for "surgery and the recovery room." It is a very painful and messy process. Dr. Sandra Wilson, author of "Released from Shame," one of the books we teach in our program, encourages us that "Depending on the severity of your personal brokenness and the extent of your cooperation with the work of his [God's] Spirit in your life, you will be able to 'soar on wings like eagles,....run and not grow weary...[or at least] walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:31).
She says that if we wait out the process, spending the time in the recovery room as needed, making full use of the healing professionals available to us "there will be fewer 'fainting' days and more 'running' and 'soaring' days than there used to be."
Friday, June 26, 2009
Buds of Beauty in the Battle
For the past four months, our staff at Safe Harbor has been engrossed in a life and death battle for the lives of the women God has brought to us for healing and restoration. I never dreamed the spiritual warfare could be so heavy. Women come to us from the streets and lifestyles filled with abuse and pain beyond belief. Our enemy, Satan, does not give up without a fight, and we have been constantly reminded of that in obvious ways, and subtle.
This past week was a milestone. We were able to celebrate with one of our ladies as she graduated from Phase I to Phase II of our intense year-long program. It was the first party of her life, at 41 years of age. Her struggle has been great, but we are already seeing the buds of beauty and healing on the vine in her life. She writes:
“I thank God for this program. Without it I know I would be dead internally and externally.”
There are many more milestones to come for her, and for us. But we are encouraged with her success, and by God’s Word that says:
28 You light a lamp for me.
The LORD, my God, lights up my darkness.
29 In your strength I can crush an army;
with my God I can scale any wall.
30 God’s way is perfect.
All the LORD’s promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
Ps. 18: 28-30. (NLT)
This past week was a milestone. We were able to celebrate with one of our ladies as she graduated from Phase I to Phase II of our intense year-long program. It was the first party of her life, at 41 years of age. Her struggle has been great, but we are already seeing the buds of beauty and healing on the vine in her life. She writes:
“I thank God for this program. Without it I know I would be dead internally and externally.”
There are many more milestones to come for her, and for us. But we are encouraged with her success, and by God’s Word that says:
28 You light a lamp for me.
The LORD, my God, lights up my darkness.
29 In your strength I can crush an army;
with my God I can scale any wall.
30 God’s way is perfect.
All the LORD’s promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
Ps. 18: 28-30. (NLT)
Monday, March 2, 2009
A Second Chance
In the early pre-dawn light this morning, I looked out onto a world that was completely layered in white. Bright against the darkness, even before the glint of sunlight had touched it, the landscape looked pristine and innocent; stark - yet vibrant with possibility.
I thought about how our world needs a second chance. I wondered what it would be like if we could all wake up and get a do-over. If we could wipe the slate clean and begin with a fresh white sheet of paper. What would the script of our lives look like?
I have terrible penmanship. I absolutely love words, and just wish I could write them in a more beautiful way. So, often when I start to handwrite a note or a page in my journal, I begin carefully, slowly forming my letters as perfectly as I can. Before long, however, I get frustrated that I can't do this quickly enough to keep up with my thoughts. I have a feeling that a new chance at life may become a messy endeavor as well.
This week, we will receive women into our residential program for the first time. The house is freshly painted and beautifully decorated. It is poised, ready to become a one-year home for women who desperately want a do-over for their lives. We know that what looks like a scene from Better Homes and Gardens will feel like a bloody battlefield before much progress is made. Most of them began life in a messy situation, by no fault of their own; and it may seem to get worse before it gets better. But if they will allow God to carry them through it and to fight with and for them, there will be a peaceful victory.
The snow coming this week was perfect...
I thought about how our world needs a second chance. I wondered what it would be like if we could all wake up and get a do-over. If we could wipe the slate clean and begin with a fresh white sheet of paper. What would the script of our lives look like?
I have terrible penmanship. I absolutely love words, and just wish I could write them in a more beautiful way. So, often when I start to handwrite a note or a page in my journal, I begin carefully, slowly forming my letters as perfectly as I can. Before long, however, I get frustrated that I can't do this quickly enough to keep up with my thoughts. I have a feeling that a new chance at life may become a messy endeavor as well.
This week, we will receive women into our residential program for the first time. The house is freshly painted and beautifully decorated. It is poised, ready to become a one-year home for women who desperately want a do-over for their lives. We know that what looks like a scene from Better Homes and Gardens will feel like a bloody battlefield before much progress is made. Most of them began life in a messy situation, by no fault of their own; and it may seem to get worse before it gets better. But if they will allow God to carry them through it and to fight with and for them, there will be a peaceful victory.
The snow coming this week was perfect...
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Moving forward
Does everyone feel like this on the weekend after the new year begins? I seem to remember feeling this way all my life at this time of year. Kind of like "stuck" between the before and after.
Truly, it is only a mark in time - nothing more. There is nothing magical about starting a new calendar year. But somehow it seems like there should be, and I think there is the source of angst for me.
This year, at least, I feel that the previous year has brought me to this point in preparation for the upcoming one. And today, I feel like a runner must feel as she is prepared for the starting whistle. Trying to forget about all that brought me to this time except the important principles I've learned.
Our country is very unsettled, insecure. Indeed, there are a lot of unknowns for Safe Harbor right now, and for my family. Somehow, in this ocean of unsettledness, however, I feel a sense of calm and security that I've never experienced before. For sure, the pain and times of intense insecurity in this past year have served to anchor me in a harbor of trust. Trust in the character and closeness of my Father. I continually have before me the image from "Prince Caspian," as Lucy and Aslan prepare to face the thousands of enemy soldiers approaching them across the bridge. Lucy seems so confident with Aslan at her side, and yet she knows she may be called upon to fight. She pulls out her tiny little knife and draws herself up, glancing at the Mighty Lion at her side. Of course, God Himself rises up from the waters and the battle is quickly over.
I am so sure that God is with me, and that He cares about my family and about the women in my care. What intimacy to walk beside Him in trust! I must be willing to do my part, and surely there may be pain and injuries along the way. But there will be a victory banquet, and the noise of the battle will then be a dim memory.
So, I think He's ready. And I only know I want to be with Him. Where else would anyone want to be?
Truly, it is only a mark in time - nothing more. There is nothing magical about starting a new calendar year. But somehow it seems like there should be, and I think there is the source of angst for me.
This year, at least, I feel that the previous year has brought me to this point in preparation for the upcoming one. And today, I feel like a runner must feel as she is prepared for the starting whistle. Trying to forget about all that brought me to this time except the important principles I've learned.
Our country is very unsettled, insecure. Indeed, there are a lot of unknowns for Safe Harbor right now, and for my family. Somehow, in this ocean of unsettledness, however, I feel a sense of calm and security that I've never experienced before. For sure, the pain and times of intense insecurity in this past year have served to anchor me in a harbor of trust. Trust in the character and closeness of my Father. I continually have before me the image from "Prince Caspian," as Lucy and Aslan prepare to face the thousands of enemy soldiers approaching them across the bridge. Lucy seems so confident with Aslan at her side, and yet she knows she may be called upon to fight. She pulls out her tiny little knife and draws herself up, glancing at the Mighty Lion at her side. Of course, God Himself rises up from the waters and the battle is quickly over.
I am so sure that God is with me, and that He cares about my family and about the women in my care. What intimacy to walk beside Him in trust! I must be willing to do my part, and surely there may be pain and injuries along the way. But there will be a victory banquet, and the noise of the battle will then be a dim memory.
So, I think He's ready. And I only know I want to be with Him. Where else would anyone want to be?
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
What are You Looking for This Christmas?
One of my favorite traditions at Christmas - at least for the past seven or eight years - has been to utilize a "Jesse Tree" for my devotion time. Each day of December up until Christmas is used to reflect on the Old Testament prophecies and events that point to the birth of Christ. I have a wall hanging of a tree, and I use handmade ornaments that depict the particular story for the day.
Today, the focus was on the story of Simeon and Anna, and how the Holy Spirit revealed to them that the tiny baby in the arms of his mother, Mary, was the Messiah for Whom they had waited most of their lives.
As I read the selection from Luke 2.25-38, the words "looking for" jumped out at me, for they were used in the account of both Simeon and Anna. I imagined that every day Simeon would watch young couples with infants coming to the temple to make the required sacrifice, wondering "Is this the Child, could this be the One?" God had promised him that he would not die until he saw this Holy Infant. Every day, the widow Anna worked in the temple, praying, fasting, and serving. At age 84, the hope of the coming Messiah was all she looked forward to.
With all the coming and going through the temple - the place you would think the highest level of expectancy would be - no one noticed when the couple of lowly means walked into the courtyard and up the steps of the majestic temple with their little unassuming bundle, and two birds as an offering of purification for Mary. As Simeon cut and discarded the foreskin of the screaming little boy, who knew that prophecy begining with Abraham was being fulfilled?
Simeon knew...clutching this child to him tightly, he passionately exclaimed that he was ready to depart this earth in peace, "For my eyes have seen Thy salvation, which Thou has prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light of revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of Thy people Israel."
No doubt, the crying reached the near deafened ears of the old prophetess who had spent all these years fasting and praying in the temple, and she rushed to give thanks to God for this moment that Redemption Himself was pronounced to be "Jesus" - "Jehovah is Salvation!"
Why these two simple and elderly servants? Why were they given the inside scoop on this mystery? Because they were both "looking" for Him.
We will see Him too, this Christmas and all year long, if we are looking for Him. I wonder how many of us really celebrate the season in a large way - with all the trimmings and trappings - and yet do not see Him.
I looked up a couple of words and phrases in these passages to find the Greek meaning:
"Looking for" (used in connection with both Simeon and Anna)- "to await with confidence and patience"
"consolation" - "comfort"
...What are you looking for this Christmas?
Today, the focus was on the story of Simeon and Anna, and how the Holy Spirit revealed to them that the tiny baby in the arms of his mother, Mary, was the Messiah for Whom they had waited most of their lives.
As I read the selection from Luke 2.25-38, the words "looking for" jumped out at me, for they were used in the account of both Simeon and Anna. I imagined that every day Simeon would watch young couples with infants coming to the temple to make the required sacrifice, wondering "Is this the Child, could this be the One?" God had promised him that he would not die until he saw this Holy Infant. Every day, the widow Anna worked in the temple, praying, fasting, and serving. At age 84, the hope of the coming Messiah was all she looked forward to.
With all the coming and going through the temple - the place you would think the highest level of expectancy would be - no one noticed when the couple of lowly means walked into the courtyard and up the steps of the majestic temple with their little unassuming bundle, and two birds as an offering of purification for Mary. As Simeon cut and discarded the foreskin of the screaming little boy, who knew that prophecy begining with Abraham was being fulfilled?
Simeon knew...clutching this child to him tightly, he passionately exclaimed that he was ready to depart this earth in peace, "For my eyes have seen Thy salvation, which Thou has prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light of revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of Thy people Israel."
No doubt, the crying reached the near deafened ears of the old prophetess who had spent all these years fasting and praying in the temple, and she rushed to give thanks to God for this moment that Redemption Himself was pronounced to be "Jesus" - "Jehovah is Salvation!"
Why these two simple and elderly servants? Why were they given the inside scoop on this mystery? Because they were both "looking" for Him.
We will see Him too, this Christmas and all year long, if we are looking for Him. I wonder how many of us really celebrate the season in a large way - with all the trimmings and trappings - and yet do not see Him.
I looked up a couple of words and phrases in these passages to find the Greek meaning:
"Looking for" (used in connection with both Simeon and Anna)- "to await with confidence and patience"
"consolation" - "comfort"
...What are you looking for this Christmas?
Saturday, December 20, 2008
What a week! I feel I have run an emotional marathon, but the pace is different from a run. With emotions, I tend to sprint up the mountains of elation and joy, and then try to put the brakes on going into the valleys of despair and confusion. This type of marathon defies the laws of physics.
This week I have talked with a man outside our ministry in the dumpster looking for materials to board up his windows. He believes people are trying to break in and kidnap him for his connection with the Grateful Dead. Such a kind spirit. As he turns away, he looks into my eyes and says "I love you." Our house has been filled with groups from churches organizing our clothes closet and cooking meals for us. We have had the angelic music from a harp, and the soft cries of a woman who has been told by her family that they are tired of her, and dumped her off at the shelter on Tuesday. There have been gifts given, and songs sung. Laughter and hope, and emptiness and pain. People with much and people with almost nothing coming by to give their money to help those without hope.
I heard a few minutes of a radio sermon this week. I don't know who the pastor was, but he talked about the exquisite joy of recognizing the beauty of a King Who cared so much about the pain and suffering in our world that He chose - yes, chose - to have His Prince of a Son be born to a poor little nobody like Mary, in a poor little nothing town like Bethlehem. Stinking hay and on which to lay His head, and water from an animal trough to clean the birth blood from His face. Born into misery so that He could lead us out - no wonder the skies were filled with the voices of angels - Good tidings of Great joy!! Unto us a Son is born - unto us a Savior is given.
I don't think I've ever experienced a Christmas that I have really gotten it like I have this time. I feel as if all the symbolism of giving is making sense to me. Rich and poor can and must give to receive the truth of what it means to be rescued from our despair.
In spite of the raw pain of human suffering, I am just so grateful to be involved in ministry to the homeless and hurting. Not only can I see the clear connection between us, I also can offer them the Hope that has rescued me, and continues to rescue me in this crazy "dumpster" world that I clank around in every day. "A beggar telling other beggars where to find bread."
This sprint up the mountain of realization has filled me with enough joy to bravely face the next valley with less halted step. All is well. Christ is with us.
This week I have talked with a man outside our ministry in the dumpster looking for materials to board up his windows. He believes people are trying to break in and kidnap him for his connection with the Grateful Dead. Such a kind spirit. As he turns away, he looks into my eyes and says "I love you." Our house has been filled with groups from churches organizing our clothes closet and cooking meals for us. We have had the angelic music from a harp, and the soft cries of a woman who has been told by her family that they are tired of her, and dumped her off at the shelter on Tuesday. There have been gifts given, and songs sung. Laughter and hope, and emptiness and pain. People with much and people with almost nothing coming by to give their money to help those without hope.
I heard a few minutes of a radio sermon this week. I don't know who the pastor was, but he talked about the exquisite joy of recognizing the beauty of a King Who cared so much about the pain and suffering in our world that He chose - yes, chose - to have His Prince of a Son be born to a poor little nobody like Mary, in a poor little nothing town like Bethlehem. Stinking hay and on which to lay His head, and water from an animal trough to clean the birth blood from His face. Born into misery so that He could lead us out - no wonder the skies were filled with the voices of angels - Good tidings of Great joy!! Unto us a Son is born - unto us a Savior is given.
I don't think I've ever experienced a Christmas that I have really gotten it like I have this time. I feel as if all the symbolism of giving is making sense to me. Rich and poor can and must give to receive the truth of what it means to be rescued from our despair.
In spite of the raw pain of human suffering, I am just so grateful to be involved in ministry to the homeless and hurting. Not only can I see the clear connection between us, I also can offer them the Hope that has rescued me, and continues to rescue me in this crazy "dumpster" world that I clank around in every day. "A beggar telling other beggars where to find bread."
This sprint up the mountain of realization has filled me with enough joy to bravely face the next valley with less halted step. All is well. Christ is with us.
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